why i went sober (really)

reading time approx. 5 mins

i couldn’t tell you the amount of times i’ve been asked this question over the past (almost) 3 years of not drinking

it used to irk me a little bit, because nobody asks a non smoker, somebody who doesn’t do drugs or someone who doesn’t like Coca Cola so why should my decision to not drink alcohol bring about a line of questions that sometimes felt like an interrogation

i’ve heard it all: you must be a crazy drunk!! did you have addiction problems? you’re no fun. it’s funny how when people don’t understand something they often will jump to judgement or placing a story to it in order for it to make sense to them

so… why did I go sober?

early 2022 i decided to do a charity boxing match with ten weeks of training & then, you fight! in our first session the coach told us to quit drinking, drugs, junk food & anything that would hinder you and instead use the ten weeks as a challenge to get you that much closer to your win

satisfyingly, the night of new years eve 2021 i fell asleep on my friends couch at a house party before 10pm, starting 2022 sober. every new years celebration is also another year of sobriety

before the ten weeks was up, i’d decided to challenge myself to not drink for a whole year & i’ve never looked back!

but honestly, to me the more interesting question is not why i went sober, but why i continue to choose sobriety nearly 3 years later

it’s no easy feat not drinking in a world geared towards alcohol being the norm. especially when i stopped drinking in london where over 70% of adults in the UK drink & half of the british guys you meet personality is ‘pub’

i wouldn’t say i harp on about the benefits ive found in being sober, mostly because i don’t want to sound preachy, like i’m trying to lure you into this cult of sobriety or like im walking around on a moral high ground BUT i want to be open about this because i believe its one of the best things ive ever done!!

& while my passionate ramblings aren’t here in a hope to convert anyone, i do hope they give you an insight into the impact it’s had for me

to set the scene, i was generally a weekend drinker, with the odd midweek beverage & holidays were a chance to let loose. pretty normal by todays standards

OK about those benefits…

• stronger sense of self - this might be one of my favorites, when you’re the outlier you get a lot more comfortable in your own skin. without ‘liquid confidence’ (especially right before you hit the dance floor) you learn to rely on own internal resources

• better sleep - my sleep has significantly improved! alcohol disrupts your REM sleep which is your deepest sleep cycle & im also having waay less late nights because now i’m a nanna who goes to bed before 11pm ( & i love it ) cutting out caffeine this year also helped

• reliability/accountability- gone are the days of the ‘ im too hungover ‘ excuse. i now find it hard to believe it’s normalized & joked about. of course when you’re hungover it’s a lot harder to do things; your body is in withdrawal & you’re probably sleep deprived, but in my eyes (maybe controversially) it’s self inflicted & a lack of accountability that makes you unreliable. if you’ve made commitments, you generally know about those before that first drink hits your lips

• more time - without hangovers, i wake up ready to go. no more wasting half the day recovering means i have more time for what i truly want (and need) to do

• mental health - it’s widely known that alcohol affects dopamine levels & cognitive function. when i stopped drinking, my emotions were all over the place but i learned it takes about 3 months for alcohol to fully leave your system so it was my body learning how to do things on its own (as nature intended right?)

• better quality friendships - i used to be the queen of making friends in the bathroom or on the dance floor but stopping drinking filters out the ‘friends’ & leaves you with the real ones

• better relationship with yourself - when you stop drinking, all your thoughts & feelings are yours. i realised i never liked techno type music because i always had to be drunk to listen to it, i actually don’t really enjoy massive concerts or crowds because i find them over stimulating. the fun journey where you discover what you truly like & don’t like begins!

• less regrets - someone once said to me nothing good happens after midnight ( if you’re reading this, hi james ). combine a late night & alcohol and you have the recipe for most of my regrets. it clouds your judgment & inhibits that little voice saying, ‘maybe not’. you know what that means? no hangxiety !!

• money! - think about how much you spend on booze for nights out & holidays, i used the TRY DRY app (linked below)to track my savings, and it was eye-opening

there’s so much more i could say, but this is getting long! one last thought...

in a world where drinking is the norm, my choice not to drink is a tiny act of rebellion against peer pressure & societal norms. i’ve become a stronger, more self-assured person because of it & i am so proud of myself for it

on the other side of that, i don’t judge anyone for drinking whether it’s one drink or you’re on the floor (i’ve got my fair share of stories too) we live in a society where heavy drinking is the norm and i don’t blame anyone for going along with it

there’s more to my journey that i might share one day—let me know if you’re interested! i’m happy to answer questions or offer support if you want to try sobriety

thanks for reading this lil piece of my heart, lots of love mik xxx

useful things if you want to get your journey started
- ‘The Unexpected Joys of Being Sober’

- TRY DRY app

- finding social media accounts to follow e.g sober girl society

-look out for sober events in your area

-talk to people who are already doing it, we’re always happy to!!

-if you are struggling with you drinking, i recommend chatting to your local GP

** just a reminder that these are my thoughts & opinions based on my experiences & speaking to some of my sober friends too, if you disagree — power to you!